Elder people need attention

With the breakdown of joint family system and increase in life expectancy the cases of elder abuse has also increased rapidly. Loneliness, negligence and less importance, illness due to ageing and against lack of treatment are the most of the treacherous conditions which elderly are facing today, and most of the times they face abusive behaviour from their children and loved ones. Aging is a natural process and elderly are an integral part of a population of any country and abusive behaviour towards elderly is a serious issue which needs to be addressed by Government and society. UN designated June 15 as World Elder Abuse Awareness Day to voice the sufferings of old people

Every other day, we see news of parents being beaten up by their children, parents and in-laws being forced to do the household chores, being made to live in small dungeon-like rooms, their property being forcefully taken over by over ambitious children, says social worker Anamika Sharma.

“I feel disgusted when I visit old age home and find old parents with long tales of sufferings which they received from their children and close relatives. I think that the time has come that Government should focus on the issue and at least give a helpline number for them.” Misra says.

The cases in police stations of Gorakhpur district has increased many folds in the past few years, SO Kotwali, Vijai Raj Singh, says,” Whenever we get information we put all our efforts to save an elderly person from family abuse and other difficulties but most of the time people avoid to make complaints .”

On the issue Sunita Mehta,40,  a resident of Mohaddipur, says, “ It is true that elder people hesitate in sharing abusive behaviour of their children.  Two-three months back I met one of mother’s friends outside a spectacles shop. I noticed bruises on her face and hands and just to help her I went inside the shop with her. She came there with her broken spectacles and after asking about the payment she came out. I forcefully took her glasses and gave the shopkeeper for repairing and took her to my house. I served he lunch, I asked her about his son. She said in a low voice that he is a doctor and started weeping. I pressed some money in her hands and asked her to make frequent visits to my house.”

There are 69 women in Chanakyapuri Vndhyavasini old age home. Once they use to run their families and busy n bringing up their children are living in alone. Vidyawati Devi, 75, is wife of Lt Gulab Chandra Agrahari says,” After the death of my husband I started living with my younger son Pramod at my house in Rajghat area. In an accident my legs and hp bones became fractured and my son along with his family shifted in another house and left me alone. My neighbours informed daughter and she left me here. She rarely comes to meet me and Pramod never comes.”

Subhawati Jaiswal , 72, is not biological mother but brought up two children of her relatives, she shares, “ I loved both of them as my own sons. I woke whole night for them and also sacrificed a lot to full fill their desires and when they grew up they demanded property and house in their names to start a business and I signed without any hesitation as after my husband demise I had no one except them. Few moths later they started hitting me on my small mistakes and one day kicked me out my house. I went to my sister’s house but her son left me here in old age home.”

The wife of Lt Ganesh Kumar Maddhesia of Pipiganj, Indrawati Maddhesia , 80 has three sons but they left her in old age home when she became sick, Indrawati says,” After death of my husband I never asked about property or bank balance as I felt that these things has no meaning. I started playing with my grand sons and daughters and happily accepted a role of loving grandparent and I also use to help my daughter in laws in kitchen. But after 10 years of my husband’s death, my sons divided the property in three parts and left me in old age home. They brought me here on the pretext doctor’s clinic. In fact I became a burden on them as my health was deteriorating fast.”

Ram Singari Devi, 70 of Gagha area was once a rich woman, she says,” I had no children but I adopted my sister’s children as my sister died very early. After the death of my husband I worked hard and brought my sister’s two sons and two daughters.  10 years back they sold my hose and property and told me that they will be shifting to Gorakhpur city soon.  They locked me in a house in Gagha for three months and after that they left me here. I don’t understand when and where I lacked and what my fault was.”

Ashok Saxena, former head Psychology department, DDU Gorakhpur University, describes the causes of the menace and also give suggestions, “Today people face time pressure and live stressful life. Parents leave children in crèche and play schools and children leave their parents in old age home. Social pressures are decreasing day by day as we have started living self cantered life and prefer virtual world of what’s app and facebook to real world relations as it suits our life style. In the era of selfie culture it is difficult to think of others. “I want to appeal Government through you to develop community centers for elderly people in each area (plus 60 clubs) on the lines of Chaupal in villages. The center should have counsellors and also a help line number. When people will discuss their problems with each other they’ll feel secure and they’ll help each other.”